This One’s for Pam

I am not a receptionist. Receptionists are the people who sit at the entry doors of a business, have a head-set, make appointments, tell guests to “please take a seat, he will be right with you.”

I am an assistant (“secretary” for you older folks) to one of our four vice presidents here. Each vice president has his own assistant. But due to the placement of my desk, everyone who enters this building thinks I’m everyone’s very own receptionist and they come to me for every question they have. Here are some of the questions I hear throughout the day:

“Do you have a pen I can borrow?” (and then they steal it)
“The toner is low on the printer in the computer lab” (great. whuddo you want me to do about it?)
“What is my professor’s email address?”
“Do you know when Dr. so-and-so will be back in?” (yeah, I keep a step by step schedule of every person who works on this campus (roughly 100 people) at my fingertips)
“Will you show me how to work this Xerox machine?”
“I need to FedEx something, can you schedule a pick-up for me?”
“Can I borrow your scissors?”
“Hi, I have a meeting with so- and-so at 1pm” (Cool, thanks for letting me know. Since I’m not the receptionist, I don’t have a record of that meeting)
“The fax machine isn’t working”
“When will the mail room workers be back?” (Hold on one minute, let me close my eyes, oh yes, I can see him now, Jimmy is just now finishing up his last bite of tuna fish and will be back in precisely 3 minutes and 14 seconds)

Ok, that’s it of the sarcasm. It’s really not that bad. I enjoy helping people…it’s just really funny. So, the next time you’re at an office with a receptionist…appreciate her (or him) for all the fun work they get to do.

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5 thoughts on “This One’s for Pam

  1. Ha! That’s hilarious. For some dumb reason it reminds me of the summer I lived in Lake Tahoe. My friends who worked on the big boat that took tourists around the lake used to have people ask them, “Can you see the whales from the boat?” Yeah. It’s a lake. I love stuff like that. 🙂

  2. That is hilarious. I think you should pretend you don’t speak English. Can’t wait to see you in…hmm…about 26 hours.

  3. thats great! one of our pastors wives worked for the NPS at Yellowstone Park to collect money and let people in…her 2 top favorite questions by tourists were…”when do they let the bears out?” and ” “is this yosemite park?”

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