I drove the last leg home from Oregon the other day. It was dark, we were tired, and there were still about 3 hours to go and I didn’t really want to drive b/c I was scared that I was going to get us in an accident or something. Since having Tucker, I really don’t like driving much. I’m always stressed out that someone’s gonna hit us or I’m going to be careless and make a stupid decision. Anyway, I started thinking about how I just need to (as my friend Dawn would say) “put on my big girl panties” and start driving and stop imagining all of these scenarios.
This got me thinking about all the fears I have in my life and how in so many ways, I let them rule me. Here are some things that my fears have kept me from:
My fear of sharks have kept me from enjoying the ocean
My fear of deep dark water has kept me from surfing
My fear of being a weird drama kid kept me from doing theatre in high school
My fear of looking stupid at track practice kept me from doing hurdles and the long-jump, so, instead I sprinted
My fear of failure has kept me from writing, drawing and painting
My fear of what others think has kept me from singing
My fear of offending someone has kept my mouth closed too often when really, I should have spoken up
My fear of missing out on something at Cal Baptist kept me from studying a semester abroad
My fear of someone thinking I’m weird has kept me from sharing about Jesus. The One person who has changed and molded my entire life.
Those are just a few examples of what fear has kept me from. They are so stupid because most fears aren’t even real. I wish I could be free from them. Except maybe my fear of sharks. They’re pretty real. So, I’ll continue to sit on the beach and look at the waves. Anyway, this post doesn’t really have a conclusion. I just hope I learn to stop having so many fears because I feel like it’s slowly stealing my life away.