I drove the last leg home from Oregon the other day. It was dark, we were tired, and there were still about 3 hours to go and I didn’t really want to drive b/c I was scared that I was going to get us in an accident or something. Since having Tucker, I really don’t like driving much. I’m always stressed out that someone’s gonna hit us or I’m going to be careless and make a stupid decision. Anyway, I started thinking about how I just need to (as my friend Dawn would say) “put on my big girl panties” and start driving and stop imagining all of these scenarios.

This got me thinking about all the fears I have in my life and how in so many ways, I let them rule me. Here are some things that my fears have kept me from:
My fear of sharks have kept me from enjoying the ocean
My fear of deep dark water has kept me from surfing
My fear of being a weird drama kid kept me from doing theatre in high school
My fear of looking stupid at track practice kept me from doing hurdles and the long-jump, so, instead I sprinted
My fear of failure has kept me from writing, drawing and painting
My fear of what others think has kept me from singing
My fear of offending someone has kept my mouth closed too often when really, I should have spoken up
My fear of missing out on something at Cal Baptist kept me from studying a semester abroad
My fear of someone thinking I’m weird has kept me from sharing about Jesus. The One person who has changed and molded my entire life.

Those are just a few examples of what fear has kept me from. They are so stupid because most fears aren’t even real. I wish I could be free from them. Except maybe my fear of sharks. They’re pretty real. So, I’ll continue to sit on the beach and look at the waves. Anyway, this post doesn’t really have a conclusion. I just hope I learn to stop having so many fears because I feel like it’s slowly stealing my life away.


7 thoughts on “Fears

  1. I'm with Beks. HA! No, I really do have the same fears. I think a childhood of worrying about what others think has kept me from doing a lot. I am slowly trying to break that pattern. I dream of singing on a stage all the time but the sad reality is I probably never will:( It's funny you wrote this because i was JUST thinking about this same thing yesterday.

  2. i'm with ya on the sharks front- for reals yo!i think it's a fine line, we are to not be fearful or anxious, yet fear is part of our inherent warning system. it's popping up for some reason… yet to not be ruled by fear… complicated and exhausting. thank you for sharing 🙂 * i-for one- would love to see those paintings and writings you have kept from doing!

  3. Love that you said, 'put on your big girl panties.' I've had to put them on, and my suit, every day since I've arrived. Growing up is hard but oh so good! Miss you so super much. We are so excited for you and Josh and this new adventure. It is going to be great! Keep up updated! I know it will be hard to leave but super exciting to do something God is leading you to do!

  4. I used to be terrified about driving after I had the kids. I thought I was going to die every time I was on the freeway whether I was driving or not. The good news is that for me it has gotten better… my kids are 3 and 4… so just wait a few years. As far as the other stuff, I think we all need someone to come along us and say "don't be afraid!" (there is a little Christmas in there for you) I was very scared to go back to school as an "adult". I thought for sure I would fail… but Rob gave me the confidence I needed to chase after my goals. SO… SING, WRITE, PAINT, ACT! What is the worst that is going to happen? Someone will laugh at you? Probably not because others will admire that fact that you tried!

  5. Liz, thank you for sharing and your transparency. I think fear is the main tactic used by the enemy against us. I was in my 40's when I started realizing and working with a spiritual mentor on my many fears so you are way ahead of me on looking at this!!

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